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In need of rest

So utterly tired

Worn out, worn down

Worried and fatigued.

Longing for relaxation, to lie beside still waters

Yearning to take off this bag that I carry which holds the stuff of life

And put it down for a time

To breathe

To rest a while

Hoping rest will replace weariness,

calm replace concern,

peace replace turbulence;

That sleep will indeed knit the unraveled sleeve of all my care(s)

And I might know true rest.

My prayer that I might wake, my soul repaired

Renewed desire to reach out and touch the fabric of the day –

a gentle touch that greets the day

with gratitude and grace

rejuvenation of joy and strength

in peace, a soul refreshed

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Thought for the day: 7 August 2017

Find joy

You may have realised from my recent poems that my friend Graham committed suicide recently – well actually February last year but I didn’t know until recently. And I didn’t even know he suffered from depression (as do I) and had I known I would have liked to think I might have reached out – but I thought he was ‘normal’ – one of those people who don’t suffer from depression – can you sense my shame, my lack of confidence, my lack of joyousness, my lack of ‘hey, let’s sit and chat’ ness?

I’ve been a little bullied over the past few years and I am not the person I was in 2010/2011 – when I had more belief in myself than I do today; when I believed what I thought was true – before I realised that I wasn’t the girl I used to be; before I realised that people could ignore me and actually that mattered to me…

I have learnt that life is not what it seemed it was and I am not who I thought I was – and that it’s ok to be happy with today, to be grateful for today’s blessings, to be excited by little things, little joys, little accomplishments. Expectations are adjusted accordingly and little triumphs can be wonderful.

I have learnt the art of gratitude. And that is such a gift.

And I have learnt to find pleasure in small and simple things, to find joy in the ordinary, to be grateful for whatever today brings. Every day is a gift. I was arrogant before I knew this. But I have learnt my truths for myself. It is what it is – and I am grateful for what is.

Life has had it’s ups and downs – but through it all God has been there – holding out His hand and watching and hoping, and cheering for me and wanting the best for me – even when I wasn’t capable of wanting this for myself, let alone acknowledging what He offered.

And I am grateful. I am grateful for the learnings.

And I have learnt the art of gratitude.

Ans there is something wonderful in finding joy in the ordinary – taking pleasure in the mundane, the basic, the banal – and finding joy in these things … can be really precious.

For all of this I am grateful.

Quick Personal Blog Update

Hello fellow bloggers!

Just wanted to give you a quick update as to what I’m up to and what’s happening in my life outside of blogging. You’ll see I haven’t written much these past few months but I still love finding cool quotes that gel with my philosophy; I still love talking photos and walking in the forests, gardens and local open spaces.

Work-wise, I’m still involved in the wee contract that was supposed to have ended prior to last Christmas – and the contract has been extended until this September. I’m really grateful for my job because 1) it pays the bills; 2) I’ve learnt some interesting stuff about myself; 3) I get to move around a lot and be quite active in my role so I get to exercise and I’m getting paid for it! (I usually do 12 – 15,000 steps per day, which I’m really pleased about!) 4) I get to choose my own hours so tend to start early and finish early -starting around 6am and finishing between 2-3pm; 5) My role is quite autonomous so both my real boss, and my on-site boss pretty much leave me alone to get on with the job and I am definitely not being micro-managed (as I have been in other roles in the past) – for this I am really grateful; 6) I’ve picked up several gardening contracts so will do basic gardening (weeding, tidying up the existing gardens, planting, pruning and trimming tress etc) for 5 or 6 different clients. Most are older people who are no longer able to garden so want someone to keep their garden tidy for them. Some don’t enjoy gardening at all while others love it but find themselves limited in what they’re able to do. One of my clients has had me tidy her gardens prior to renting out her house and then I’ll just do maintenance on a monthly basis. It has been a little thing (that began as just an idea) and has grown via word of mouth and taken off. It’s just a part time thing – sometimes afternoons after work or on weekends but it has been a great way to make a little extra money, keep myself busy and active, and I’ve had the opportunity to meet some lovely (sometimes a little lonely) folk who no longer have to feel guilty about their untidy gardens plus get a little more company than they had before. I’ve been surprised how often the client will come out for a chat, and sometimes end up gardening with me for a little while. The whole experience has been fun, creative, tiring, and I’ve met some really lovely people.

Long story short – I seem to not have a lot of free time on my hands at present. I still love finding quotes and taking photos and putting them together – but just find I don’t have much time to actually write very much. However I like the creativity of creating the quote/pictures, and enjoy looking back on what I’ve created, and re-reading the little nuggets of wisdom that so many people have provided along the way. So just wanted to explain what’s going on for me and why I’m not writing much, and give you an update.

And for the record, I’m still going on my year of practicing self-love. Sometimes this is easier than others and it’s a ongoing process but I’m pleased with how this year is progressing thus far and my attitudes & outlook in general.

I wish you all friendship, laughter, memories of good times, and the opportunities for more of all three. I also wish you kindness and peace.

Ruth 🙂