Thought for the day: 23 December 2017

There-are-hidden-blessings

This describes where I’m at today. I’m struggling just to keep it together. I’m struggling period – to be honest. I struggle with this time of year – with my own thoughts and feelings and expectations and disappointments. I struggle with guilt – there are so many things one can feel guilty for – and I do.

I feel vulnerable, fragile, weepy, confused, guilty, ashamed, sad, and the list goes on.

But I know that in every situation, there are things to be grateful for.
And I am.
My husband is a blessing, a friend, a rock. My dog is a constant companion. I have time to paint if I choose to; I have time to read or sleep or walk…

I choose courage. I choose to fight to keep going. I’m choosing to fight to stay on top. I’m choosing to feel the feelings, to let myself cry or not cry, to just take time to be. I’m choosing to approach this with honesty – these are my issues, this is my stuff. And while it is what it is – I can choose to accept the feelings that come along or I can determine to fight, to see this through, to be honest and authentic and real about where I’m at and how I’m feeling.

And maybe that’s enough for now.

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When I’m depressed…

 

Time is so obtuse

Isolation is my ally, it understands me

Regret is like flogging a dead horse

Shame drains me of all colour

Sorrow is my benefactor

Depression my ever present shadow

 

While hope is like the sunrise

Doubt like clouds

Insecurity like standing in the rain

Despair like a torrent

Desolation a hurricane

 

While hope is like the sunshine

It warms, dries, lights the way

It encourages growth

 

A friend is an umbrella in the rain

Companionship a raincoat

Laughter a holiday from cold and damp (even if only for a moment)

The possibility of another place and time

 

And hope is like the sunshine

Take a photograph so as not to forget.

 

HOLD  ON  TO  HOPE