I found some old prose today…

“I burnt some of my dreams today – the pursuit of knowledge that I had loved, and I tried to let go.  I saw the sorrow of holding onto things.  A wise woman once said “Ain’t nothin’ but a thang” and she was right – it was just a ‘thang’.

So I hide in old comfort music, like a large well-worn, well-loved jersey that always fits, regardless of how much weight I’ve put on or taken off.  And it feels like arms of love, that always fit.

A tear, an empty glass, a wet cheek, an old plan and it’s happy dreams that I thought would carry me through – all reduced to ash.

This is my wake to an old life, an old dream that won’t be realised, so I’m gonna grieve – and do it now.  I don’t want to hold on when letting go is what must be done. I have laughed – and I will laugh again. I just need to let go.

This is my wake – to celebrate the promise of a dream; never promised, simply an expectation unfulfilled.

And on some quiet level, deep down, deep deep below what I know, it’s actually OK because maybe there’s something else that awaits”

 

Thought for the day: 10 December 2018

Every morning brings... 2

I’m holding on to this today. The last few days have been challenging but I’m learning about pushing through regardless of how I feel.

And today is a new day. Yesterday has been and will not come again. Tomorrow will be what tomorrow will be. Today is all I really have. And it will come with opportunities and challenges that I may not be able to control. But I CAN control my attitude. And I choose to step forward in faith, with hope and joy. And my aim is to choose kindness, to be gracious and compassionate.

And if I get to the end of today and I have not been as kind or gracious, as caring and compassionate as I had hoped, I will accept that I am flawed and not perfect; I am human, and I will treat myself with self-compassion and acceptance, and know that I did what I could with what I had at the time. And that’s all I can ask of myself.

And right now I loo to today and anticipate the new beginning with a renewed sense of hope. A new beginning, a new blessing, new hope.

Thought for the day: 31 December 2017

I’ve been having a bit of a tidy – going through all my clothes and removing those that no longer create a spark of joy, and either throwing them away or putting in a bag for a local charity shop. It seems an appropriate time of year to be looking at what I own and weighing up – has this achieved it’s purpose? does it still create a spark of joy? Having almost finished going through my clothing, I’m planning to go through my make up and skincare, my books, CD’s and DVD’s. It seems like a good time to re-evaluate what I’m holding onto and why.

My aim for 2017 was embrace self love and self care – and I feel good about my achievements on that front. I think I have a greater sense of self acceptance and have learnt/am learning about forgiving myself and letting go of stuff I can’t change.

So I close-my-eyes-

This quote describes my current space: an acknowledgement and acceptance of what I’m leaving behind in 2017; gratitude for the learnings along the way, gratitude for life’s gifts and an awareness of all I have to be thankful for. Along with anticipation for what 2018 has in store (regardless of the outcome); possibilities, opportunities; I have a sense of taking positive steps forward to proactively greet what’s waiting ahead.

Goodbye 2017. Thanks for what I’ve learnt.

Hello 2018 – bring it on!

Thought for the day: 30 December 2017

Happy almost-the-end-of-2017!
Just prior to Christmas I shared about how I was struggling. I was feeling a little depressed – not really scary bad, just a bit down: weepy, fragile, vulnerable. We went to visit my husband’s family for several days and just before, and since, I’ve been working on a collage. It’s not exactly what I’m after, and the photo doesn’t represent it well, but this is what I’ve been working on.

img a3 (2)

I love the theme of gratitude and always being grateful, and I also like that I got to experiment with some techniques I haven’t used before (-attempting to make what is new look old and faded, and trying to make the paint look ‘distressed’)

My thought for today is a hope, a desire and an aim: to be always grateful.

Thought for the day: 10 November 2017

Make-it-a-great-day-3

I love the challenge in this – that sense of being positive and taking control and being responsible for how my day goes.

I may not always be good at carrying that thought with me throughout the day and continuing to put it into practice but having this reminder, and the associated awareness that creates, has got to be a good place to start.

My life. My attitude. My choices.