Hi there. I think this quote says something about where I’m at at the moment. I want to courageous. I want to be positive. I’m good with being vulnerable. And I want to be comfortable with what is currently uncomfortable. I feel like I have a handle on ‘courageous’ and ‘vulnerable’ but finding comfort in the uncomfortable is more a of a challenge.
I have some thoughts about what is uncomfortable for me – and my aim is to get a bit ‘uncomfortable’ over the next few months. My hope is that the more often I’m uncomfortable, the more uncomfortable will become comfortable (- if that makes sense). I’m still processing exactly how that’s going to happen but have some positive ideas I’d like to try – and I’ll let you know how it goes. Suffice to say: I have something of a plan, and some ideas, and I’m aiming to try them out over the next few months. Here goes….
I grew up believing in caring and valuing others. It has only been in the last few years that I have entertained, let alone embraced the concept of caring for myself: of valuing myself, being kind to myself, treating myself with respect.
I can’t help thinking that this is something I had been longing for at a very deep level since childhood but couldn’t articulate. And now I am free to acknowledge that I need care – and that I have a responsibility to take care of my needs. But not just my needs – my desires, my dreams, the things I value – I have a responsibility of care for those things too. And it is not onerous, it’s a joy, a priviledge to take delight in my own dreams and goals, just as I would the dreams, goals and values of someone else I care about.
Taking time for me reminds me that I too am of value and need to be loved and cherished. And I can love and cherish the little girl I carry inside in a way that perhaps she wasn’t. I can do those things for her that my family and friends were unable to do – I can listen and give her time and attention and care. I can value and honour the little girl I carry inside. I can acknowledge her, and treasure her, and love her.
And I can remember that I am she – and I too deserve the respect, and love and care, the kindness and value and acknowledgement that I offer to others.
So utterly tired
Worn out, worn down
Worried and fatigued.
Longing for relaxation, to lie beside still waters
Yearning to take off this bag that I carry which holds the stuff of life
And put it down for a time
To rest a while
Hoping rest will replace weariness,
calm replace concern,
peace replace turbulence;
That sleep will indeed knit the unraveled sleeve of all my care(s)
And I might know true rest.
My prayer that I might wake, my soul repaired
Renewed desire to reach out and touch the fabric of the day –
a gentle touch that greets the day
with gratitude and grace
rejuvenation of joy and strength
in peace, a soul refreshed