the open hand of forgiveness

Why is it that I’m better at forgiving other people than I am at forgiving myself?  Is that about having greater expectations of myself and my behaviour than I do of others?

When I forgive, I am letting go of something that I’d otherwise hold on to – when holding on is to my own detriment. When I let go of whatever it is, my hands are no longer fists, closed fingers whose job is to clasp. Letting go means opening my hands. To release the hold is to free my hands of a task and there is freedom in release. Freedom to go on and do something different. The closed fist becomes an open hand.

“Forgiving does not erase the past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.”                                                                                      – Louis B. Smedes

Forgiveness alters the memory. I like that phrase: forgiveness ‘creates a new way to remember’.

Forgiveness leads to Freedom, and Freedom leads to Hope. Hope carries with it a positive expectation.

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.”                                                                                                             – Martin Luther King

The next step then is to be mindful of forgiveness, to carry it with me through out the day. To be aware of my ‘infringements’ and to forgive straight away rather than holding on. Holding on is wasting time. Give up, let go, move on. It’s not rocket science!

Forgiveness. Freedom. Hope.







9 thoughts on “the open hand of forgiveness

  1. This is so true! I just spent the last 16 hours in tears because a colleague that I was excited about working with, devalued me. My first reaction was to beat myself for being so open and accommodating with my time (in short supply these days) but I just have to forgive him and move on.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Awesome. People tend to hold grudges against others for reasons they often can’t remember.
    ps. thanks so much for reading and liking my posts – i’m enjoying both your readership and your the writing you produce 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Forgiveness is sometimes overrated. It’s good to forgive when the other person acknowledges wrong and honestly repents. It’s also healthy to ‘let go’ of offense even if they dont. I wouldn’t call that forgivness, never good to let the guilty off the hook when he refuses to repent or apologize. It just breeds more disrespect and in time abuse of your good kindness.
    Thx for liking and following me. -KIA

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve heard it said that holding a resentment is like me drinking poison expecting the other person to die. I know today that I am not forgiving others for them but instead for me. My freedom and peace of mind. Awesome lesson learned.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too – it can take me a while to work through things too – that’s why I write posts like this – to remind myself! And once written, I have something to refer back to at a later date when I’m feeling less objective 🙂


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